I didn't know how to articulate that on one hand I'd met an incredible guy, but on the other hand I was miserable, lonely, unfulfilled, and unable to picture what my future would look like. I was struggling to redefine my identity as an expat or immigrant without the people who have always been by my side. How do I explain that the best year of my life was also the worst?

I lay alert in their guest bed, taking in my new surroundings. After months on the boat, I was extremely conscious of the stillness. I realized how familiar I had become with every sound on the boat. The dull rattling of the anchor chain, the creaks of the wooden floor boards, the ocean. These sounds were replaced with new ones that night.

Starstruck by the night sky, my dad and I took turns keeping a lookout for other boats in the darkness. I had never seen stars so bright, with absolutely nothing competing with their light. I felt incredibly small, yet somehow entirely safe.